the 19 days. out of singlehood...
brought me back the reality.

i'm still the facing it the way i should.
what hold me back was the selfish part of me. as much as i didn't want you to get hurt in the end, i fear being hurt the most. i was over protecting myself. i dont dare to give. all i did was to take and take. yes, being very selfish. now i've got you hurt and myself not.

i cant find the confidence to carry on.
it shouldn't have started. perhaps we both would have been better that way.
i wasnt anywhere close to happy.
status or not. does make a great difference.
at least to me.

i dont deserve to be in a r/s. do i?
thanks for loving me. always understanding and tolerating my nonsenses all this while. i'm sorry, i let you down. i shouldn't have agreed when i know i'm not ready. but i guess everythings too late. there's no more what-ifs no turning back
take care. mrchan.

Labels: random thoughts

to be updated :)